The Phenom of stopping just when things get going… 2/23/14

I am still surprised at how often I experience this, both in my studio with students and I must confess, for myself, as well.  Someone comes to me for lessons, or they start coming to the Singer's Salon, or they are pursuing their artistic dream in one form or another. They are perhaps just starting to make headway, they are getting deeper, they are starting to confront the real “issues’ - and they stop. The process of developing your artistic skills, mining your gold as an artist, so to speak, is somewhat like therapy in that sense. We find the real goods and fear wells up and we run screaming from the lesson, session, workshop, audition process or --fill in the blank. We run from the studio, the blank page, the collaboration when things get going, when things get DIFFICULT. And of course this is just the time to hunker down and get to work, for here is where we will find our true dilemma and our true voice. We must write through, sing through, work through this discovery process but fear- fear overtakes us? Why?

What are we really afraid of?

The Reveal

“My life as an artist has been spent trying to hide myself-so that I might reveal myself.”

Oh I stopped myself again, so thoroughly and completely and –why? Was it simply not knowing who I was anymore, or even who I wanted to be? Yes, I suppose that was it. Or perhaps it was the simple burden of teaching, and writing and existing while in this process of transformation? Or the pretense of trying to be and look successful and like somebody oh so special? When underlying it is the old cold feeling of being a nothing and a nobody and a loser? I wonder, does everyone have this at their core? Or is it just me and my kind? …my creative kindred.

I wrote that quote at the top of the page in my journal and realized that that, of course, once again, is where I’m at. I don’t know how other people live their lives or make their art or whatever their work may be. We are surely all shape-shifters and mask- wearers, on some level, but those of us who make our lives in the creative arenas require a special relationship to both the value and danger of being such. I realize that the role of teaching artist begs these questions in much the same way. I say “the role” because everything is a role. Under the heart of me, the burning questing feeling reeling depth of me is just pure joy pure pain pure blank wonder. But the daily living does not support that-oh be sure of it. One must find who one is while walking down the street, (I have tried it the other way and trust me when I say; it is not a good idea.) Teaching is another role, as is singing, as being in a band was. Being an actor is a sorely missed role encompassing many roles and so it MADE SO MUCH SENSE. Being a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, a lover, a daughter, yes, we know, we are all “roling” along. When does it work, when not? Is that then the question? When does it connect to that inner raw something that is us, when does it become something through which the real authentic me, you, whoever, can be expressed? That is the question.

How do we make these heavy light/ decisions, these wonderful /terrible differentiations? That is the stuff of our lives isn’t it? I have to keep going back to this because I get lost in the role (sometimes) and it changes, and I lose why the hell I was doing it in the first place (sometimes). Or the role disappears through some vagary of fate or through my own doing as has happened this past year and I am just plain lost. And I realized that faking it is just too too exhausting and ‘tis better to let this too too solid mask melt away and to let what is, be revealed- if just for a moment.

Singer's Salon August 11!!!

The Singer's Salon continues to be an awesome, joyful and rewarding experience in every way! I plan to resume blogging more about it this week! In the meantime, come out and sing!

Singer's Salon June 2013!!!

My behindedness (word?) seems to be epic! Well, let it not be said that the Singer's Salon isn't continuing to be awesome as well as meeting regularly! Come on out and see what the fuss is about. Sunday, June 9, 2013, 7:00 p.m. Come to sing, to watch, to encourage, to marvel, and to enjoy. Bring yourself and your singing self.

Singer's Salon March!

Come forth with yon voice and free thyself of fear!!!

MASK POEMS MANY

Life’s changes create

Strange bendings

In the road

Willingness to unfold

Unwending of woes

Unbinding of blows

Sister to sister

I stare at my old face

I see what she was

Her sorrow and passion

I know what she does

and doesn’t -what fashion

Her delights take

What seasons her nights

I creep past her quiet

And into her busy

Her mind all buzzy

And see out her eye holes

That mask of fool’s gold

Now I slip in and out

Like a ghost or a cipher

Giggles I stifle   

But secretly boast

Singer's Salon February!

Please come out February 10 at 7:00 p.m. (as always on the Second Sunday of the month) at 3160-Chicago Piano & Cabaret! Bring your LOVE songs (or any ol' songs for that matter) and make it happen!

Singer's Salon, A Relevation: Part 2

So now that we've establish the basic philosophy behind the Singer's Salon, let's get to the really good part. The Singer's Salon is turning out to be a very gratifying experience, and not exactly the way I thought it would. I am getting so much more out of it then expected, and I hope (I'm pretty sure...) I'm not the only one. True, I get to host the Salon and make silly jokes and try to be a positive influence on the proceedings. But I also get to see the hearts and minds of the lovely people who come to the Salon as they open to the experience, and share of themselves. I get to participate in the growth of people who come regularly, to see first hand the way they are transforming themselves from nervous or timid or awkward performers, to confident, charismatic and polished ones. I am witnessing beauty in the ranks from all sides, as people encourage each other with real sincerity and heart, afterward comparing notes, singing praises and offering sympathy. Wow! What a thing!(As stated in Part 1,  this doesn't happen at other open mics that I have been too, not so much. I'm not saying NEVER, but it's a different vibe.)
Here are some examples from the recent January Salon: a young lady, whom I won't name so as not to embarrass her, began to sing a song from a popular singing icon of the day. She broke down almost immediately in tears, suffering from extreme nerves, and having forgotten the words. Now apparently earlier that day she had gone to an audition and had a similar experience. But lo and behold, the group all encouraged her to keep going, try again, don't give up and tough it out. It was great! The young lady got through parts of the song, broke down again, gave up, then reneged on giving up, and then kept going AGAIN. She was cheered and came off stage to hugs and support all around. So what about that? Do you think she will ever forget that experience, or will the audience for that matter? Did she learn what it was like to go through the fires of your fears, keep going, survive, and still feel the love? I think so. She did not defeat the problem in that one moment, Hollywood movie-style. No. But she had an important experience.

Erick Deshaun Dorris sharing his talents at the Singer's Salon

Others get on stage and sing with less drama, although they may have issues such as singing in tune, or with very little feeling, or inability to sustain enough breath to make much sound come through consistently. And almost everyone is struggling at some point or another with nerves. Instruction is available to those who seek it (please call yours truly first!) classes and workshops can and will be utilized, (and, in fact, I am beginning to offer a unique workshop series designed especially for Salon goers). But the Salon itself offers its' own rewards, to each and every one of us.
Not every person who comes to the Singer's Salon will become a professional singer, nor do they all even want to I'm sure. But they are surely all becoming better singers and much more importantly, better people.

The Singer's Salon: A Revelation. (Part 1)

When I first started the Singer's Salon here in Chicago, I had a couple of things in mind, but the main one was to have an opportunity for my students to perform on a regular basis. The time honored recital, while useful in many ways, has certain limitations. Recitals seem better for kids somehow, or perhaps for the classical singers among us, but not so great for adult jazz people, music theater singers, and just plain wrong for pop singers, R&B folks and rock and rollers in general. I wanted something of the real performance about it, something with a little cachet, and maybe, possibly a way to share commraderie, information and skills with each other. There are plenty of open mics about, (You can say that again!) and even some geared toward singers in particular. Most however, are geared toward the singer/songwriter who often plays guitar or keys to accompany themselves, or bands, duos, etc who play instruments.  There are a very few that have an accompanist on hand to lend a hand (or two!) and those are most often attended by the aspiring cabaret artist or musical theater actor/singer. Naturally we love all of those types of singers and can in fact, be counted among them.
Still, I wanted my Salon to be a place where folks were welcome to do ALL possible kinds of music-no exceptions. So not only do we have an accompanist on keys (Rock on Maggie Dahlberg!) But we try to facilitate, when possible, the meeting up of singers with musicians if possible for a little help on songs that ain't really designed for piano accompaniment. Thus my esteemed colleagues, members of my band, The Red Apples (Props to Ron Lowy, and Dave Lenef, in particular) have been really awesome about lending their talents to the singers and sometimes even going so far as to rehearse ahead of time with people who are so motivated. And we welcome other instrumentalists to help out any time naturally!

Jeanne Williams singing at a Salon at Deagan Music

There is one other thing I very much wanted for the Salon, and which I have tried hard to create: a place where people can come and sing and work through their fears of performance by having a non-judgmental audience that understands this: fear can make you perform REALLY BADLY. I speak of this from years of experience. As someone you used to be crippled by paralyzing fear when performing, (singing in particular) I remembered all too well, the times I had been to open mics, or other singing opportunities, only to be surrounded with people who gave me the "psych out" once over and clearly hoped that I would fall flat on my face with a loud thud. This does not help.

I have come to realize from my years of teaching that encouragement is a powerful tool, and one that brings out the best in people. Non-constructive criticism and negativity serves only to pull people down further into the abyss in which they are so often, already drowning. So the folks who attend the Singer's Salon are aware of the basic philosophy behind it, and are wonderful adherents to the idea. And this brings me to the main purpose of my post.
Stay tuned for the second installment!

Singer's Salon January 2013!!!

Thanks to everyone who has been coming out to the Singer's Salon at the new location and special thanks to Dan Neniskis and the staff at 3160-Chicago's Piano & Cabaret. So far the feedback has been good. Everyone seems to be enjoying the ambiance of the space, and of course, the general vibe of the Salon is never anything but POSITIVE! I have been so gratified to see students, friends, and colleagues, as well as complete and total strangers, come forth and share their talents with their peers. Not only are we hearing some great singing, we are hearing lots of interesting songs, some old favorites, some totally new and original tunes, and sometimes a twist on the old and new combined. As we start off the new year I just want to stay a giant thank you to everyone who is participating in the Salon. YOU ROCK.

The Holiday Singer's Salon is coming up Dec 9, 2012 at 3160-Piano & Cabaret. We will meet at 7:00 p.m. and as usual feel free to bring your sheet music and Maggie will accompany you on piano. The Red Apples will put in an appearance, and we will have a holiday sing-a-long. So even if you don't want to get up and fly solo, this is a great Salon to come and get your group singing fix! Last year, as I recall, the sing-a-long was a real show stopper! If you have any questions, feel free to give me a call at 773-474-8471. I look forward to a fun show with lots of great singers! Remember, the Singer's Salon is all about improving your performance skills, being supportive of each other, and creating an atmosphere of fun and play. So come on out!

Singer's Salon November 11!!!!

The Singer's Salon has found a new home! Whoo hoo! We will be next Salonning at 3160-Chicago's Piano & Cabaret, a lovely place with a nice cabaret space, complete with baby grand, located at 3160 N.  Clark Street.  Hopefully we will have a big turnout, Sunday, November 11, at 7:00 p.m. because this space seems perfect. and all that moving around is just too stressful for this gal! The Salon has continued to grow and continues to be a constant source of amazement, enrichment and just plan groovy fun. I have been touched and thrilled by the folks who show up and share their talents, their fears and their hearts and souls. Don't forget to join us on facebook and/or meetup!
 https://www.facebook.com/pages/Singers-Salon/121444207975644?ref=hl
http://www.meetup.com/Singers-Salon/

Notes from the Singer's Workshop

This workshop we are really focusing on finding the song in the vibration of the body and therefore, of course, the voice. Making music, and  perhaps singing more then any other kind of music making, is a deeply personal journey. When a singer is aligned properly in his instrument, the voice rises from deep within the body, not merely the throat and larynx, and on the wings of breath brings forth a piece of the soul. When I say "aligned properly in his instrument",  I am referring to the singer's entire being as his or her instrument. All of the parts of sound production, the body, the spine, the breath, all of the places where voice finds depth and resonance, all of the chambers where the body houses emotion, strength and spirit, the mind, the memory, the soul of the complete person, work together to create the perfect flow of song.
At the first installation, the workshop attendees played with finding the vibration of the sounds in their bodies, first to the plaintive strains of classical music, then dancing their songs, and dancing each others songs while each sang in turn. Both dancing to others' songs, and being the singer to their dancing proved, I think, to be worthy and interesting experiences. Tenderness, fear, bravado, the need for comfort and even a sense of oneness with the Universe, were experienced and expressed. And so much more. The magic begins....