Monday, January 31, 2011

Can a Leopard Change Its Spots?

There are the whispers
That speak of nothing
And these are the whispers of neglect
There are the rumblings of emptiness
The black rumblings
Of annihilation

There are leopard spot prints
And there are true leopard spots
And there are true leopards
And pretend leopards
And zoo leopards
And here is my cat
Who is no leopard
Though she moves stealthily and quiet
And her claws have their sting
And her wildness untamed

I have officially grown tired
Officially mind you
Of trying to ‘fit in’ to whatever it is
I’m supposed to be
Wife?  Mother, even?
Woman.  Banshee. Barbie.
Witch. Traitor. Instigator.
Angel  beauty  whore
Proselytizer  soothsayer  ribbonweaver 
Gate keeper  sorrow cleanser

And so what is One next?
Without all my labels and tools
Without my bits of lace and jewels
Without my hair my lipstick my socks without my
Dairies with padlocks
Without my reason and commitment
And legal wrangling and teachings and learnings
And comings and goings
And earnings and yearnings
Without my thoughts stopped up my breathing
Flowing without my nothingness
My light my shadow
My sorrow my fright
Without my question

Thursday, January 20, 2011

sloughing off
the insistence of despair

the mind’s eye opens
anybody there?
anybody know?
anybody care?

drops.  silent.
serene. mobile.

empty. full.
guileless remembrance
an innocent game
all different
altogether the same
the same rack of torture
the same crock of lies

listen again
as the drops drop by
tears they are
of blood and sand
the hourglass empties into your hand.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Journal Today Jan. 7, the boy is growing up


Rebellion rising
Your young man pride
Bashes against my
Old mom stances
Your energy dances
Of social whirls, computers and girls
Strain the reins against my
What about your grades your future
Financial gains?
Your spark- a light against the dark
Alight on the wind
Of tomorrow’s whims
Your hopes your schemes
Fill your veins your breath
While memories of your sweet
Toddler lisps
Eclipse your boyhood’s death
                                                       You sing of your strength
                                                       I mourn the loss of your
Open Innocence,
Legos, blankies, macaroni,
Of simpler dilemmas.

Saturday, January 1, 2011